5 Reasons People Go to Therapy:
There are so many misconceptions about starting therapy. Number one being “you have something wrong with you if you have to go to therapy” or feeling crazy (do not even get me started on that word). Therapy has so many benefits! We do not have to have something wrong with us to go to therapy, we can go for the good things in our lives too. If you are contemplating therapy, this is a great read for you.
Here I talk about the five most common reasons I find people come to therapy (and they love it):
Because of Other People in Their Lives
Yes, you read that right. Let me just tell you how many times I’ve heard from my clients “my parents think therapy is nonsense” or “my partner really could benefit from therapy, but they won’t even touch the idea.” SO many times, people go to therapy to deal with the people in their lives that will not go to therapy.
Let me tell you something: you cannot fix others.
Yes—you can see a therapist and try to figure out why your partner behaves a certain way, or talk about your mother being a narcissist, but you and your therapist cannot fix them. What you can do with your therapist is explore ways to improve your reactions to these people. Don’t get me wrong, you have every right to discuss the challenging relationship(s) you have. As a therapist, I’m happy that was a driving factor for you, but the most important thing to me is your happiness and your ability to manage these relationships in a healthy way – or end them. It’s unfortunate that the people that would most benefit from therapy don’t always utilize it, but kudos to you for doing so!
Self-Care
If any of the clients I work with are reading this, they’re probably laughing and knew that self-care would be on this list. I OWN THAT I TALK ABOUT THIS ALL THE TIME.
Let’s face it, self-care is incredibly important. If you read our previous blog post about “Covid Fatigue, Trauma & Healing” you’ll know that burnout and stress is at an all-time high. When we are stressed and burned out, we greatly increase our risk of developing symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Being kind to yourself, taking breaks when you need to, saying no are all of the things we *need* to be doing right now.
These are trying times we’re in, so many people are working from home and struggling with that work-life balance. Take a walk on your lunch, close your office door at the end of your workday. UNPLUG. You know when you go on an airplane and the flight attendant gives that whole speech about putting your own oxygen mask on first? Yeah—that’s self-care. If you are unable to tend to your own needs and show up for yourself, you most certainly cannot do so for others. I always encourage people to practice at least one self-care activity daily (if you can do more, go for it). The Counseling Collective has also started a Self-Care Sunday Instagram series (@counselingcollectivepeekskill) to give you some different self-care activities to try!
Learn How to Set Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries. Are. So. Important. One more time for the people in the back! I CANNOT stress this enough. You know that friend that continuously spills their emotional crap onto when you have a million other things on your plate, or your family member that expects you to drop what you are doing to help them figure out a problem immediately? Or how about that parent that minimizes your current stressors/challenges? It is more than okay to address them! People struggle with the misconception that setting boundaries or being assertive is aggressive, so they struggle with setting them. I hate to break it to you, but that is untrue!
Healthy boundaries do so many things for us.
Beginning with having a better sense of one-self, preventing burn-out, and not allowing others to define who we are and our personal values. Some signs that you may have poor boundaries that need improvement include difficulties saying no to others despite feeling tired or overwhelmed, getting overinvolved with other people’s issues, oversharing personal stuff, and tolerating maltreatment from others. Healthy boundaries allow us to fulfill our goals and desires, have wholesome connections and to live our best lives! Set those boundaries.
Improve Their Relationship with Themselves
Be your own biggest fan. Brag about yourself. Slay those goals you set.
Therapy can help you explore your successes and challenges so that you can be the best version of yourself. Do you have a goal but are afraid to work on it because of fear of failure? Are you not applying to your dream job because you truly believe you won’t get it? Are you in an unhealthy relationship but staying in it because you feel like you’re not deserving of a healthier one? A good therapist will help you to explore what’s stopping you – and challenge you to overcome them. As a therapist, I want my clients to love themselves unconditionally. I want them to believe in themselves the way I believe in them. Learning ways to let go of guilt and shame, practicing self-compassion, being confident in your decisions will help you to live a fulfilling life that you enjoy. You deserve to be in love with yourself and the rest will follow!
To Treat a Mental Health Concern
This is scary for a lot of people. Let’s start with validating your concerns regarding mental health challenges and make it okay. I recently had someone tell me that they were interested in starting therapy to explore grief and increased anxiety but were afraid to do so because they didn’t want work to find out.
It’s okay to research the benefits and reasons to go to therapy, but a barrier should never be because of what others may think about me.
There are so many factors that contribute to mental health symptoms. Our anxiety is heightened, our lives are being taken over by the pandemic, we’re bound to our homes and feeling isolated, and maybe depression and anxiety runs in your family.
Sometimes you may need help from an unbiased party to learn to manage these things. Not everyone is equipped with the skills to learn to deal with the challenges you’re facing, and a therapist can help you to explore what is helpful versus what may be unhelpful. Therapy is not easy, but it’s worth it. Sometimes it may feel like things get worse before they get better, but recovery is possible. Normalize this for yourself. You deserve to get yourself the help you may need. If you’re concerned about you or somebody you love or are questioning whether or not you’re struggling with a current mental health concern, feel free to reach out to us info@counselingcollectivepk.com.